Emotions Undone
by axdorkxable
Summary: After defeating Nero and his Romulan fleet, the only thing young Kirk wants to do is relax and think. But when Spock comes into his quarters, he gets the surprise of his life. And would it damage their already rocky friendship? Kirk/Spock
1. Prologue

Title: Emotions Undone

Summary: After defeating Nero and his Romulan fleet, the only thing young Kirk wants to do is relax and think. But when Spock comes into his quarters, he gets the surprise of his life.

Pairing: Kirk/Spock

Warnings: SLASH don't like don't read. Also there is language. And maybe some mature stuff in there too.

* * *

**Prologue**

James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise for all of three days, was completely exhausted. The defeat of Nero and his Romulan crew a few hours prior had left him and his whole crew battle worn. So by his order, they were heading back to earth on impulse while the battle worn crew got some rest before repairs would start the next day. Jim looked at the chronometer beside his bed - never mind, _later_ today.

He too would have been asleep at this god awful hours, but his mind would not let him rest. The only thing - the only _person_ - on his mind was Spock. His feelings for the Vulcan were confusing the hell out of him. And the emotions he felt through the mind-meld with Spock Prime only confused the hell out of him even more. He felt the hardships, the friendship, the _love. _

Damn.

In the past couple years he had; beaten the Vulcan's test, got himself snuck onto Enterprise, got himself kicked off of said ship, met Spock Prime, got Spock angry after the talk on the icy planet, became Captain, defeat Nero, and nearly got himself killed in the process. In that process he had, without knowing it, fallen in love with Spock.

How the hell did that happen?

He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment in which he started falling in love with the Vulcan, but he could pinpoint the moment when he _realized _he loved Spock. It was after the mind-meld with Spock Prime. When he felt the old Vulcan's love for the future Kirk, Jim realized he felt the exact same way.

He was screwed.

Jim groaned and covered his face with his hands. Yeah, he was screwed. For one, Spock was with Uhura. And another thing, he wasn't gay! Or at least, he didn't think he was. But these feelings were screwing up his thinking.

And screwing up his sleep.

Insomnia: Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

He had looked it up last night when he realized for the third night in a row he would not sleep. No one knew he had it. On the outside he was the cocky, 'shoot first ask questions later', Captain of the USS Enterprise. But on the inside, he was just so tired. Tired emotionally, physically, mentally.

The chime on his door when off and he blinked, as if the sound was just a figment of his imagination. But when it went off again, this time more urgently, he knew this was real. He hauled himself off the bed and quickly went to the door; it had to be an emergency if someone was knocking at this hour.

Jim pushed a button on the doors control panel and the doors swished open. He nearly gaped when he saw Spock standing there. But Jim pushed his personal feelings aside and started to worry.

"Spock? Is everything ok? Aliens attacking?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, "No Captain. I came here to talk to you." Jim shrugged and move away from the door to let Spock in. Something told him it didn't concern the ship.

As soon as the door closed behind Spock, the taller man swiftly pulled Jim into his arms; arms around his waist and nose buried in his neck. Jim's heart sped up. "Spock?" He whispered.

Spock shuddered, "I'm sorry. My emotions have been illogical since I saw you fighting on the ship." Jim blinked; he didn't know Spock had seen that. "When I saw you after being transported onto the Enterprise, I was relieved, but I was also confused. The feelings I had for you were illogical and …"

Jim chuckled and pulled away, "Spock, you're rambling."

"Indeed."

Jim took the moment to look at the Vulcan before him. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept at all. The emotions that weren't already etched on his face - confusion, fear - were shining in his eyes.

"Spock, what are you trying to say?" And those were the words that got through Spock's panic.

"I'm sorry," The Vulcan whispered and quickly left the cabin. Jim stood there shock, staring at the door Spock left through; one thing going through his mind:

What the hell just happened?


	2. Cold Emotions

Thank you to all those who reviewed instead of just putting the story in favorites. As promised, here is another chapter. I know it's short, but I'm doing some moving and so short will have tah do for now (which also means I wont have internet for a while). Hope ya'll like.

And thank you, SnowsongIsAJaypawFan, for noticing I put "sock" instead of "spock"

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Cold Emotions**

Cold. Emotionless. That's how Spock acted the day after the incident. He spent most of the time away from the bridge helping with repairs all around the ship. When he ran into Jim at any point, he would be completely formal. And cold. This happened again the day after, and the day after that.

The first day this happened, Jim was annoyed but understanding.

The second day, Jim was calm. He knew Spock would need some time to think.

The third day, Jim started to get annoyed once again.

On the fifteenth day, Jim gave up being calm and was angry and frustrated.

On the sixteenth day, Jim did something about it.

It was late at night, nearly 2300, but he knew the Vulcan of his thoughts was up. The computer had stated he was in the observatory - which was just fine with Jim. The doors switched open silently, and he was surprised the Vulcan didn't turn around at the noise. The lights had been dimmed almost down to nothing, but he could still make out the lone figure. Spock was leaning against one of the waist high ledge; looking so human.

He made his way to the Vulcan, who did not turn at the noise. Jim frowned and stopped a short distance away.

"Spock?"

Spock turned, "Captain. If you'll excuse me." He tried to walk away, but Jim stood in front of him. "Captain, please let me go."

Jim scowled, "Come on Spock, you can't expect me to forget what happened."

"Nor do I expect you to, Captain. I do not wish to talk about it." Spock once again tried to go around Kirk, but Jim grabbed his arm and slammed into the wall. His hand were placed on the side of Spock's head and his body close enough he could feel the Vulcan's body heat.

"You come into my room, you _hug_ me, and then leave without a single explanation. I want to know what's going on!"

Although by nature Vulcan's were stronger than humans, Spock did nothing to move Jim from his presence. He just stood there, looking at something past his commanding officers shoulder. Jim noticed his gaze and sighed. He would not get anything out of the Vulcan, even if he were to rile him up.

With a small grunt, he pushed himself off the wall and made he way to the doors. He paused, turning around to find Spock once again leaning against the ledge. Jim sighed and walked out of the observation deck. If he would have stayed a few seconds longer, he would have heard the words not spoken pass between Spock's lips.

"I cannot control these feeling. My love for you seems...illogical. But why does my human half tell me otherwise?"

* * *

"We are being hailed, Captain," Uhura spoke from her station.

Jim shifted in his seat to make himself look more professional. The thought of meeting another alien species nerved him - the Enterprise was still too damaged to put up another fight - but he tried not to show it. "Put 'em on screen."

The view screen came to life as the communication was put through. The species in front of him looked humanoid; except for the light blue skin, gills, and pointy ears. "I'm Captain Kirk of the Federation ship USS Enterprise. How may I help you?"

The blue alien on screen smiled, showing semi-pointed teeth, "Captain! It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Julo of the Laliconians. I saw that you were in need of some assistance so I thought we could help."

Jim nodded, "Thank you, I would like to discuss this with the rest of my crew, if that's alright?"

Julo's grin widened, "Of course!" With that the screen went black.

Kirk swiveled his chair and looked at his first officer; "Spock?"

"The Vulcan's have met the Laliconians before. They are a peaceful race with about the same level of technology as earth. It would be agreeable to accept their help."

Kirk's eyes quickly scanned the bridge and got nods of approval. "Hail them."

The screen flashed again and Julo seemed to be bouncing in his seat. Kirk gave him a grin, "We would be glad to accept your help."

"That's great! I can send repair teams over and if you would like, you could join us for dinner."

Jim nodded, "It would be an honor."

Julo clapped his hands in excitement, "Fantastic. I will send a shuttle to get you. Julo out."

Once the screen went black, Jim slumped in his chair, "Well this is exciting."

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Captain?" Uhura asked.

Jim shrugged, "Spock said these guys were cool, so I trust 'em enough."

He really should stop listening to what Spock suggests.


	3. Lalicon

Thank you for all the reviews! They allow me to see what I need to fix and if I'm doing something wrong.

I would like everyone to meet my new beta: SnowsongIsAJaypawFan!

Warnings: Torture, rape! Don't read it if you cannot stomach! Next chapter will make semi-sense if you skip this one!!!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Lalicon**

He liked the feeling of waking up. He also liked the feeling just before waking up fully. This was not one of those times.

The first thing he noticed was the searing pain in his head; worse than the ones he had when he had a hangover. He must have groaned because through his pain, he heard Spock say something.

"Captain?"

"Told you to call me Jim, Spock." Or, at least that was what he tried to say. All that came out was: " 'Uld e'ew ulmay im 'ock."

"Captain?"

Jim groaned and shook his head; which was a stupid idea because it increased his headache and made him nauseous. But he managed to get out a weak, "Spock?"

"Captain? Are you unharmed?"

"I'm dandy," Sarcasm, his anti-drug. "Wha' happened? Last thing I 'member was food."

"As do I. It appears we have been drugged."

Jim groaned, "Fantastic." And why was it so dark?

Oh right, eyes were closed.

Jim opened his eyes slowly, so not to increase his pounding head. But it didn't matter, it was pitch black in…wherever they were.

"Spock, where exactly are you?"

"I am two point eight feet by you, Captain."

Jim rolled his eyes, "Unlike you, I cannot see in the dark." He reprimanded. He was about to continue when he heard the shuffling of clothes. "Spock?"

"Here, Captain?" The only thing that prevented him from jumping at the closeness of Spock's voice was the hand on his shoulder.

"Jeez, Spock. Warn me next time!"

"Apologies, Captain."

Although it was still dark, he could see the outline of Spock. He could also see the defendant shade change on the side of Spock's head where blood had formed, "Spock, are you alright, your bleeding."

Spock's head outline shifted slightly towards Jim, "I am fine, Captain. It is only a minor scarp from when we were thrown in."

Jim glared at the Vulcan, but it was useless, "Alright. Where exactly are we anyways."

"It appears to be a room approximately five feet by five feet, with no door that I can detect."

"_This is a special occasion. You arrived just in time for Kuron! Please, join us."_

"_Kuron?"_

"_As yes. Kuron is a festival for a celebration after a successful harvest."_

"_Well then we would be honored to join you." Jim grinned and bowed in thanks._

"_Captain," Spock tried to interrupt._

"_Spock," Jim said in a low voice. "This is an important event, we can't insult these people. We are here to make friends and allies, not to insult them."_

_The Protectorate - the planet's leader, as Julo was second - invited them to take seats at the table, indicating were each person should sit. He split the two up, putting Spock on his left and Jim on his right._

_The two exchanged worried glances, but took their seats at the low table. Servant girls brought out trays of fruit, mini cakes, and pitchers of wine. After everyone had a cup full of wine, the Protectorate held up his goblet, "To a long and profitable year." The group held up their cups then hesitantly took a sip._

"_Protectorate, this wine is the best wine I've ever tasted!" Jim enthused._

_Spock, not the biggest wine consumer, also agreed, "It is very appeasing."_

"_Wonderful!" the Protectorate said as he clapped his hands twice, at which the servant girls returned with pitchers to refill everyone's glasses._

Jim groaned, "It was the wine."

"Captain?"

"The last thing I remember was drinking wine. And you had more than your fair share."

Although he could not see the Vulcan, he knew Spock was thinking things through. "It is logical and likely."

The wall across from them - or was it beside them, hell he didn't know - hissed and slid to the side. Bright light filled the tiny room and Jim had to shield his eyes from the harsh light. He could hear clothes shuffling and armor clanking, but the light was too bright to do anything.

A harsh hand grabbed his shoulder and forced him to his feet. He tried to fight the creature that was dragging him, but the creature was stronger than he was and the grip on his arm got tighter. His mind registered that Spock was trying to fight, but the sharp prick on his neck brought him into unconsciousness once again.

* * *

It had been so sharp at first, stinging sensations all over after they had injected him. He woke up without his uniform, clad only in his boxers. He opened his eyes to a blinding light above him. When he tried to move his arms to shield his eyes, he couldn't. His vision was blurry, but he could make out the restraints on his wrists. Looking down his body, he saw his ankles were also bound to the table. That's when he noticed the wires. The wires and tubes coming out of his body. Some were filled red – his blood – others different colors.

But before he could think anymore about his situation, a strong pain ran through his body. His head fell sharply back to the surface of the table and his back arched to get away from the pain. He had never felt something this painful before. His mind filled with nothing but the overwhelming sensation of being fried alive. When it seemed like he couldn't take it anymore, it stopped. Breathing heavily, he made out some sounds nearby. Talking? Was he hearing voices?

He felt something poke him and he felt the medicine run through his system. Before he could even think about what it could do, his vision blurred completely until he could see nothing but light. He was blind. He heard more voices and the shuffling of clothes, but he could make nothing out of the gibberish. It was either in alien or his hearing had been damaged.

He felt his boxers being ripped of and his legs being spread. His heart sped up, and he couldn't breath. Oh God, oh God. He tried desperately to hold back his tears. The alien took his time, violating his victim repeatedly, using many objects, and rarely spoke except to acknowledge his own gratification. All Jim could do was cry as muffled screams escaped his throat. Finally he lost consciousness.

When he awoke, he found he had been moved into a standing up position; feet spread apart and chained to the floor, arms spread above his head and chains hooked to them. The chains were tight and allowed no movement. And he was still naked. The alien saw the human wake up and smiled.

The alien slowly walked over to Jim, making sure to take his time and grin the whole way. The alien ran a hand over the human's neck and pressed its fingers at three different points, making the human grunt in pain.

The alien smirked and grabbed at something beside Jim and brought it up so the human could see it clearly: three needles. Jim's eyes widened, but the alien ignored the look and pressed all three needles in the same spots where it had previously pushed on. Jim hissed and grinded his teeth, but he would not cry out.

The alien seemed to pout, but then grinned. The grin sent shivers down Jim's spine. The alien grabbed something else from the table, something that looked like a chunk of ice. The alien pressed the ice gently on Jim's neck and watched as the human's face scrunch up in pain.

Jim bit back a scream, his fingers jerking helplessly in the manacles as the ice felt as though it was burning into his skin. As soon as it started, the pain receded and he felt the needled being pulled out. Jim's breath came back with an explosive rush.

The alien turned and yelled something to someone else in the room. Another alien replied and clanging sounds were heard. The alien torturing him looked at him thoughtfully, obviously not amused by the lack of screaming.

Another alien came in, wielding a knife. The alien torturer grinned and took it from the smaller alien. When the smaller alien didn't move, the alien torturer barked at it and it ran. The torturer turned to Jim, and it grinned maliciously.

Jim's screams of pain could be heard echoing throughout the room.


	4. I Run to You

Thank y'all for all the wonderful reviews. To answer a couple of questions, the reason there was no description of the aliens was because Jim's eyes were a little too unfocused. The description will be in this chapter. And the reason why these ugly butts are torturing..well you'll see.

Snowsong: Hey darlin'! Of course it's you! I wanted everyone tah meet ya!

Notes: _"Hello!" _Means an emphasis on words.

* * *

_I run from hate_

_I run from prejudice_

_I run from pessimists_

_But I run too late_

_- Lady Antebellum 'I Run to You'_

**Chapter 3**

**I Run to You**

Black. Blackness all around him. He could feel nothing, here nothing, see nothing. But he felt…felt _peace._

"_Jim?"_

Who was that?

"_Jim."_

It was cold, which was kind of odd; his room was usually pretty warm. And there was something rubbing his arm, trying to wake him. He growled and swatted it away, only to have to return. He groaned and tried to rolled over, but he nearly fainted when his body screamed in pain. Memories - being captured, being tortured - all came rushing back to him.

His eyes shot open, but his vision was blurry. He blinked and it cleared enough to which he could see. Spock was leaning over him; both his eyes and face were showing worry and anger.

"S'ck?"

Spock let out a relieved sigh, "It is good to see you awake, Captain."

"How bad is it?"

Spock's eyes saddened, "Your body is covered in cuts and bruises, along with puncture marks."

Jim took in a painful breath, "Needles."

The Vulcan put a gentle hand on Jim's chest, "You have four broken ribs and a dislocated knee. Internal bleeding is imminent."

Jim took in a shaky breath; "Don't forget punctured lung." Spock eyes widened. If they were in a different situation, Jim would have laughed. "One of the broken…" Shaky breath. "…ribs must've punctured a lung."

Jim coughed and blood ran from his mouth to his cheek. He raised his arm and grabbed a tight hold onto Spock's arm. He gave a gentle tug, but somehow, the message was translated and Spock leaned forward.

Jim's words were but a whisper, "If…if I don't make it." He coughed and closed his eyes; his breathing labored.

"Captain, you will survive."

Jim sighed in exasperation, "_Please._ You need to know." He shivered. He was so cold.

"_Jim!_" Jim's eyes snapped opened to the look of seriousness on Spock's face. _"You will survive!"_

Jim closed his eyes, but a large smiled crossed his features as he drifted off into unconsciousness. He felt surprisingly warm. "For you, Spock."

Spock watched as Jim drifted off into unconsciousness. It was a good thing the human was unconscious. What he was going to do was something a Vulcan would rarely do, and he did not want Jim too see.

The door slid open and Spock tensed. He had heard the alien walking, which was another reason why he was glad Jim was not awake.

The two aliens were large in size, almost eight feet by his calculations. Although they had a humanoid stance, they were far from human. They were bulky, but that was from the large amount of muscles they had. From head to toe, they were covered in green-brown scales. Their faces were contorted into a reptilian like structure, and their hair was pitch black. Their eyes was what made them stand out. The eyes were a piercing red, with almost no pupil.

The aliens talked to each other in a language Spock did not know, but it would make no difference. The interaction distracted them from the prisoner, which Spock took full advantage of.

He growled and lunged, punching the taller one in the stomach, knocking the wind out of it. He elbowed it in the jaw, and swiped down and kicked it's feet out from under it, knocking it over. Something hard collided with him side, sending him flying a few feet and tumble on the ground. Spock growled and got up on all fours, ignoring the pain in his side, and charged. He collided into the stomach of the smaller one, sending it sprawling. The taller one attacked Spock from his right, and he swiped down and knocked its feet from under it.

The smaller one got up and charged - fast for its size - and rammed right into Spock, sending him flying. He hit the ground hard, and his skull bounced off the concrete. Spock tried to get off the ground, but a foot slammed into his side, sending him tumbling. He landed on his back, and a heavy foot pushed down on him.

Spock's breathing was heavy, and he knew he had many broken ribs. He could feel blood gushing from the back of his head, and his vision was blurring. He was losing.

He tilted his head slightly, looking at Jim. The humans breathing had slowed considerably since Spock tried to fight. The dark red blood flowing from the many cuts - both shallow and deep - had not stopped. Jim was dying.

A thundering growl came from his throat. In a rush of strength, he grabbed the alien's ankle and twisted it, effectively knocking it over. He rolled onto his stomach and stood unsteadily. When the alien was up he charged and rammed right into it with his shoulder, sending the alien flying. Its back and head collided with the concrete wall and it slumped down, unconscious.

He was having trouble breathing. His whole body hurt. But he had to get Jim out of here and onto Enterprise.

He found what could pass off as a phase pistol on one of the aliens. It was hard to lift Jim onto his back with his wounds, but he managed to get it. With Jim laying unconscious on his back - held in place with his left arm as his right was his firing hand - he crept into the hall. He saw no enemy in his line of sight and his Vulcan hearing told him there was no one around.

His footsteps barely made a sound as he made his way through the unknown ship. As he passed a new piece of technology, his brain stored the information and calculated what they were and where on the ship it was located. Even with his superior mind; however, if he did not locate a communications device, Jim would die.

Footsteps echoed in front of him and he only had a few seconds to fire on the alien. The alien barely made a sound as it dropped to the floor. Dead or not, Spock didn't check as he stepped over it.

He advanced down the hall, making sure he stayed in the shadow and made as little noise as possible. A closed door made him pause in his trek. It was not on a motion sensor, as the ones he had passed through before. A button panel was on the one side, but it was covered in the unknown language of the aliens. Jim could not wait for him to stand here and try to decode the language. It was an illogical choice, but random choice was the best chance he could possibly have.

It thankfully only took him a few tries before the door swooshed open. The sound alerted the large group of aliens inside. His Vulcan reflexes allowed him to dodge the fist fire before he could find cover. On his back, Jim groaned in pain. Looking around, he found he was behind a group of storage crates with only one way in. He gently laid Jim down, who groaned at the movement. He was sweating and his breathing was labored. He laid a comforting hand on Jim's chest before he lifted himself up and returned fire.

A hail of phaser fire echoed the room as the enemy tried to hit Spock. The sizzling sound the impact made on the walls and crates, the weapons were sent to kill. A few crates exploded as the contents caught on fire, sending debris all over the room. Some debris was harmless, but a few sliced through the aliens body - killing a few, injuring a few others. It eliminated a few targets, but it did not give Spock an advantage. There was still ten aliens left, and they had plenty of cover with the crates.

He saw an opening and stood completely to shoot two aliens who were not completely hidden. They dropped to the floor, but Spock's open position made him a target. Phaser fire whizzed passed his arm, searing his arm. He winced and ducked down. He was lucky it did not hit him fully. The wound burned, but he pushed it to the back of his mind and concentrated on the eight aliens left.

The crate in front of him rocked back and forth slightly as phaser fire hit it. He raised his head up slightly to see what the situation was. Four aliens were hiding behind a large crate, while the other four were scattered around it. There was a thirty-percent chance that large crate held explosive material.

With an accurate aim, he fired on the crate with as much power the phaser had. The crate shuddered and rocked, but did not explode. The aliens fired back, and Spock ducked just in time to miss the phaser fire.

Smoke started to fill the room and block his vision a little. This was both good and bad for him. The bad side was the aliens could use this as cover and sneak up on him. The good side was he could do the exact same thing.

He saw one the aliens move from out of its hiding spot and come towards Spock. Spock fired and it went down. A shadow passed through the smoke close to him and he fired. The shadow disappeared and he heard a thunk; another one down.

There was a clear spot in the smoke and he saw the remaining six advancing towards him. It was his luck, they thought he could not see. In six short bursts, the six aliens went down. He paused to make sure there was no more, and to check on Jim. He wasn't breathing, and his pulse was low. Spock started to panic, Jim would not last much longer. He went through his brain for a solution.

He didn't not were they were, and there was no medical supplies around them. He could not get Jim's heart started by fear of hurting him more. He only knew one way to heal a Vulcan, but it was just for that: a Vulcan. He had no idea what would happen if he did the procedure on a human. But it would be illogical for Jim to die.

Spock shifted so he straddling him (_AN: yes I know how wrong this sounds just go with me here)_. He leaned forward, and placed both his hands on the points on the face.

He would do the ancient art of elmuvak, or healing process. He would transfer his life force into Jim, which should start hakausu, when the body starts healing itself. It would weaken him but if it worked, Jim would live.

There was a gasp of air being taken in then a cough. Jim was breathing again, and through the meld, Spock could feel the human's heart was strong once again. He urged himself deeper and pushed the hakausu process. In his minds eye, he could see Jim's cell regenerating. Not enough, but enough for Jim to live.

Spock allowed a sigh of relief.

He slowly withdrew himself from Jim and brought his hand away from his face. Jim's breathing was a little better and he had color back in his face. He was well enough for travel, but not for long.

Spock gave a shaky sigh and stood up completely. He was tired, so tired, but they weren't out of danger yet. He shakily made his way to the nearest alien. It took a lot of his strength, but he concentrated enough to create a mind meld with the alien.

Flashes of memory flew through his mind, but he only needed one. He easily shifted through the memories and found where their shuttle pod was located. It was a level up, and by the memories, no one ever guarded it. Hopefully they were that lucky.

Jim's breathing was still strong when he got back and he wasn't cold anymore. Spock carefully lifted the human on his back. Jim mumbled and shifted. "'ck?"

"Captain."

"'t J'm 'mmber?"

Spock gave a small smile, "I know." Jim drifted back into unconsciousness, and Spock continued on. He followed the path he memorized from the memories and was able to get passed the non-sensor doors. Thankfully, they only ran into two aliens.

The alien shuttle bay was motion sensor and opened to no aliens. The shuttle pod was in one piece, and the aliens had yet to strip it. Spock eased Jim on one of the longer seats and made sure he was strapped in secure. The engines hummed as they powered up and the shuttle hovered over the floor. Outside the shuttle, Spock could hear warning sirens go off; they had been detected. He didn't think twice and swung the ship so it was facing the doors. He did not know the access code, but he didn't need it. Even though the shuttle had limited weapons, he calculated that blasting the door from the inside would create a big enough hole for the shuttle to fit through.

Multi-tasking, Spock launched the two torpedoes and fired phasers at the door. He check communications, but they were being blocked from inside the ship. The door exploded, and the shuttle shot forward. Fire, smoke, and debris flew passed the shuttle and he flew out the door. A beep beside him told him communications was online.

"This is Shuttle Pod One to Enterprise. We are under fire. Please respond." He paused but there was no response. He set the message on repeat and concentrated on getting away from the ship.

Communication symbols flashed across the screen in front of him. Odd curling characters scrolled across the display. Spock turned it off. Enterprise was not in sight, but his transmission was still being broadcasted.

He managed to pull the shuttle slightly ahead of the alien ship; gaining much speed as he could get out of the engines. The nearest weapon torrent followed the craft; its high powered plasma missile soared through space.

Spock's fingers flew over the shuttles controls; it climbed and banked to evade the missile. At the same time, he switched controls and sent the shuttle into warp. Sensors blared to life as the alien ship went to warp to follow them. The shuttle groaned and rocked as the alien's plasma missiles hit the shuttle. Spock fired back with what the shuttle had, but the limited weapon capability was no match.

The shuttle rocked as another missile hit it. Shields were down and, by the strong shudder, so was the warp drive. The shuttle slowed down to a crawl. Spock's fingers flew over the keys as his brain calculated the best possible way to survive. A warning blare echoed throughout the shuttle: the alien shuttle was powering weapons to maximum. A photon torpedo blazed through space straight to the shuttle.

Time seem to slow as the blazing missile headed straight to the shuttle. Five kilometers, four kilometers, three, two. The shuttle shuddered as a large imposing figure banked in front of it, stopping the torpedo's path. The _Enterprise_'s imposing figure swooped in front of the shuttle; guns firing and torpedo's blazing through space.

"_Shuttle Pod One, it's good to see you alive,"_ Chekov's thick accent filtered through the com system.

The com beeped when Spock replied; "Indeed. Captain Kirk is in need of immediate medical help." The shuttle rocked as one of the alien's weapons missed and whizzed passed the shuttle.

"_Aye, aye, Commander. Do zu have enough power to get into ze shuttle bay?"_

"Negative. Our impulse power was taken out." A large flash nearly blinded him as the alien ship took one last hit before blowing up.

Spock heard Chekov sigh in relief, _"Copy that. Please try not to move, ve vill beam zu out."_

"Copy that."

It was a few minutes before he felt the nearly familiar sensation of the transporter, and the shuttle faded from view as the med bay came into it.

Bones rushed forward and started shouting orders at his helpers. Jim was lifted carefully lifted onto a bio bed and was rolled off into what Spock assumed was surgery. He stood there as his Captain disappeared from view, a sharp tug of an unknown emotion tugged at his heart.

One of the nurses spotted his frozen form and went up to him, a scanner in hand. "Commander, I need to check you over for injuries."

Spock looked at the nurse and raised an eyebrow, "I am uninjured. I will be on the bridge." He turned to leave the med bay when he paused. "Please contact me when the Captain is out of surgery."

"Of course Commander."

Spock stepped outside the med bay and the doors swished closed behind him. The hall was empty and quiet. It would only take him one level to get to the bridge, but someone make his feet not work.

He took a deep breath and centered himself, before heading to the bridge.

Chekov looked quite at home when Spock stepped onto the bridge. The Russian immediately saw him and got up from the chair.

"It's good to see zu, Commander."

Spock nodded and sat down as Chekov took his original station, "Report."

Uhura was the first to speak up, "The alien that had taken you were known as the Santi. They are known for capturing and testing species."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I have never heard of these Santi."

Sulu spoke up, "That's because little are known about them, and humans have only encountered them once during Captain Archer's time."(1)

Spock nodded and turned his gaze to the stars flying by on the view port. His heart tugged emotionally and told him to go back to Jim. But his mind was rooted, he would stay on the bridge where he was needed, and he had to find out more on these Santi.

* * *

**(1) There was no such alien encountered in Star Trek: Enterprise. Made it up for this story.**


	5. White Space

Sorry for the wait, I had writers block -rubs neck nervously-. Anyways, here is another chapter, and it looks like the Kirk/Spock romance is finally going to be lit!! Mwahahahaha -cough cough- right, anyways. Its not much, but ah just read it and you'll understand.

**Chapter 5**

**White Space aka What Are You Doing Here!?**

He was still sleeping when McCoy contacted him saying Jim was out of surgery. He looked at the chronometer beside his bed before he left his quarters; nearly fifteen hours in surgery.

The doctor was not in the room when he entered, but he saw Jim sleeping on a bio bed in the back of the room. More privacy, Spock theorized. He silently went over to the sleeping Jim, and was actually surprised to find a chair beside the bed.

"I knew you would be down here when he was out of surgery."

Spock turned and raised his eyebrow, "You are correct. What was the damage?"

The doctor motioned him to sit on a bio bed before answering; "He had four broken ribs, a punctured lung, a mild concussion, and over a dozen needle points."

Spock sat patiently while the doctor worked on his arm and hand. He remembered getting the one on his arm - the phaser fire had glanced off his arm - but he couldn't remember how he got the burn on his hand. His ribs were only bruised, and needed only minor treatment - thankfully.

"There, all done. Now go, before I change my mind."

Spock nodded in thanks before getting off the bio bed and walked over to the chair at Jim's side. There was a silence around him, a silence that consisted of the faint tinkling of the ship mechanics and the distant buzz of activity and conversation. Within the room was the soft hum of electrical equipment, and the soft sounds of his unnaturally deep breathing as he slept on, oblivious to Spock's presence.

Spock connected his fingers together and settled them on his stomach; he would stay here as long as he could.

A small hand gently clasped his shoulder and he blinked before turning, "Nyota."

Nyota smiled and took her hand off his shoulder, "How is he?"

Spock turned to look back at the sleeping Jim, "His surgery went well, but he still unconscious." He turned back to her. "Your shift started five point eight minutes ago."

She smiled sadly, "Spock, you've been here for more that ten hours." Spock's eye uncharacteristically widened and she gripped his shoulder once more. "Take care of him, Spock. Someone has to."

* * *

He was floating in darkness once again. If he was able to, he would have crossed his arms and huffed angrily. He gave up trying to count the times he ended up floating in the darkness and cold. It was quite annoying.

"_Nyota."_

Spock? What?

"_How is he?"_

He knew that voice - Uhura - but what was she doing on the ship? Was she captured too?

"_His surgery went well, but he still unconscious."_

Surgery? That meant he was back on the _Enterprise,_ safe.

"_Your shift started five point eight minutes ago."_

Hah, only Spock would be that accurate.

"_Spock, you've been here for more that ten hours." _

Seriously? He's been waiting that long? Why?

"_Take care of him, Spock. Someone has to."_

Hey! What was the supposed to mean!?

There was no more voices, so he assumed Uhura left. He felt warmth spread through the darkness; comforting him, urging him to wake up.

"_Jim…"_

Spock! I'm coming!

There was an annoying beeping in his ear, but he ignored it and focused on opening his eyes. It was bright and he nearly groaned at the pain it caused. He slowly opened his eyes this time, allowing them to adjust. It still hurt, but it was tolerable.

From what he could tell by just staring at the ceiling; he was in sickbay, hyped up on painkillers that were running its course, and someone was holding his hand.

Slowly and quietly - more for his sake than his visitors - he looked at the person holding his hand. He was surprised to see Spock by his side - he thought the Vulcan had left. Spock looked tired. His perfect hair was mused and uncombed. He had dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were puffy. He didn't sleep the whole time he was here. And by the way he was staring off into space, Spock didn't know he had woken up.

"Are you trying to look like a zombie?"

Spock's eyes flashed to Jim and he quickly let go off his hand, "It is good to see you awake, Captain."

Jim cracked a grin, "Yeah, yeah. You still didn't answer my question."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I was not trying to look like a 'zombie', Captain. I believe Doctor McCoy is waiting for you to wake up."

Before Spock could turn and find the doctor, Jim's hand lashed out and grabbed a hold of his arm. The contact sent a spark throughout both of their systems, but it did something more to Spock.

_He felt his boxers being ripped of and his legs being spread. His heart sped up, and he couldn't breath. Oh God, oh God. He tried desperately to hold back his tears. The alien took his time, violating his victim repeatedly, using many objects, and rarely spoke except to acknowledge his own gratification. All Jim could do was cry as muffled screams escaped his throat. Finally he lost consciousness._

Spock gasped and his eyes widened. Was that…?

"Spock? Spock, are you alright?"

Spock looked down at the hand that was curled around his arm and then to Jim, "I am…not alright." Without an explanation, he shook of Jim's hand and walked calmly out of sickbay.

Jim blinked dumbly and stared at the closed doors the Vulcan just exited; "What the hell?"

"What tha hell, indeed!" Bones muttered angrily and approached his patient. "That green-blooded hobgoblin was supposed tah get me when ya woke up!"

He started muttered as he looked over Jim, but Jim didn't pay attention. His mind was focused on the Vulcan that had confused him once again.

* * *

Spock sat in front of his meditation candles; his face completely blank and his eyes closed. He was in the process of meditation; controlling those feelings he felt in sickbay. He found himself in his white space, as he called it. This white space allowed him to sort through all his feelings and thoughts in order to control them. But today was difficult.

He had slept less than two hours since Chekov beamed them from the alien ship a day ago. While Jim was in surgery, he had spent most of his time trying to find out anything and everything on the Santi.

They were known as the Torturers. They spent their whole left studying and - in the end - torturing many species. No one knew why they did it, they just did. They had a high level of technology; higher than what the Vulcan's even had. They had cloaking technology, but also a sort of technology that allowed the ship and its crew to look completely different. That is why he had been fooled.

The Vulcan's had meant the Laliconians before, and they were indeed a peaceful race. That was once of the main reasons he let Jim initiate contact with the species.

But it was a trick, and Jim had been tortured. He should have felt extremely lucky he was not also tortured, but he was worried for Jim. His feelings for Jim went way beyond friendship.

And the memory he saw when Jim grabbed his arm. Why had that happened? It didn't matter. What he saw was something Jim shouldn't have gone through. He should have done something! Should have protected him!

"Damn, this place is boring."

Spock's eyes snapped open; "Captain?"

Jim was sitting up not a few feet from him; his legs crossed and he was leaning against and invisible support. He was still dressed in the regulatory medical clothes and there was a blanket pushed at his feet.

"Spock! What are you doing here?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I am questioning the same thing."

"What are ya talking about? This is my dream!" Jim paused and rubbed him head in confusion. "Although it's pretty boring."

"You are not dreaming. This is were I come to meditate."

Jim blinked, "Huh."

In two places, two people opened their eyes. In their minds, they were thinking the same thing:

_What the hell?_


	6. Bonds Acknowledged

**Chapter 5  
Bonds Acknowledged**

Spock was good at hiding from people. When he was younger and just starting school, he was constantly picked on because of his heritage. He spent many hours of the day finding new hiding spots just to hide from his tormentors.

On the _Enterprise_ he hid from people so he could meditate or just collect his thoughts. Contrary to popular belief, he did not mind being around so many humans. He and Sulu had formed a bond over a martial arts lesson. He and Nyota had been in a relationship, but after Nero, they both realized they were only friends and nothing more. Scotty knew a lot about the _Enterprises'_ engines and was happy to run ideas past Spock. And - although it seemed like they constantly fought - he and McCoy had a mutual agreement. But the one person on the _Enterprise_ he got along with the most was the one person he could not hide from. The one person he had fallen in love with.

"Spock?"

Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

Spock turned and found Jim leaning heavily against the doorway to his quarters. He immediately went over to him and slipped his arm around Jim's waist to lead him to the bed. Jim gave a little noise of protest, but did not resist. "You shouldn't be out of the med bay, Jim."

Jim smiled at the use of his name, "Finally." Spock raised and eyebrow and Jim winced at the anger in the Vulcan's eyes; he was in trouble. "Alright I wanted to talk to you."

"Lay down."

Jim blinked, "What?"

Spock had to control the urge not to roll his eyes, "You are injured, Jim. Laying down should ease the pressure on your wounds." His mouth gave a twitch upwards as he watched Jim realize he was right and laid down enough were he was a little against the pillows and wall. But he did frown when Jim winced the while he was doing so.

Jim saw the frown and waved it off; "I'm fine, just a bit sore."

Spock was going to protest, but he realized Jim wouldn't even tell him he was dying if he could help it. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Water, please," he would rather have some alcohol, but he knew Spock didn't have any and frowned upon the habit.

Spock came back with two glasses of water and handed one to Jim; who drank half of it before setting it down and speaking; "How is the_ Enterprise_ running?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I know that is not why you came here so late, Jim."

Jim sighed and bit his lip before staring intently at his hands. Spock didn't say anything and let the man think. If Jim wanted to say something, he would say it at the right time.

"What happened the other night?" Jim's question was so quietly spoken, Spock would have missed it if he did not have his Vulcan hearing.

"I was meditating and the white space helps me collect my thoughts and store them."

Jim rolled his eyes, "Got that part. What I meant was how did _I_ get there?"

It was Spock's turn to look down at his hands, "I do not know. There is only one way for one two enter another's meditation space, but it is highly illogical."

"And that illogical thing would be?"

Spock took a deep breath; "We would have to be bonded."

Jim gave a blank stare, "Bonded as in…?"

"Mates."

Jim's mouth formed into an 'o'; "How?"

"I believe it was when I saved you on the ship." He saw Jim wince and he felt guilty for bringing the subject up. "I'm sorry Jim."

Instead of Jim blocking him out, he grunted and tried to lift himself up; "Help me up, Spock"

"Jim you need to rest."

Jim scowled, "Damn it, Spock! Help me up!"

Spock didn't argue anymore and helped Jim sit up. When he was up and sitting on the edge of the bed. His breathing was heavy and he was sweating but when Spock tried to call McCoy, Jim waved him off with an 'I'm fine'.

"Jim, you need to go back to the med bay."

He shook his head, "Spock." He put a hand over Spock's, shivering slightly when he felt a spark run through his body. "Don't be sorry. _Never_ be sorry for something you have never done." He let go of Spock's hand and stood up from the bed. The doors swished open when he pushed the button, but he paused before leaving, "Spock."

"Yes Jim?"

"Whatever happened, or why it happened…I don't want it reversed." With that he looked at Spock one last time before leaving Spock staring surprisingly at the now closed doors.


	7. Bonds Forged

Here we are! Chapter 6! My lovely beta is not available right now, so please forgive me for the mistakes. It will be fixed once she can read through it. Once again, I dont own the lovely characters in this story. But please, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Bonds Forged**

It would be a week before Jim would be able to talk to Spock again. After his escape from med bay, McCoy banned him from leaving and banned everyone from talking to him unless it was an emergency. Finally, after a week of healing - and a week of nagging - Jim was let out of sickbay and put on light duty. Then again, light duty to Jim would be his normal shift on the bridge.

"Has anyone seen Spock?"

"No sir."

That was not the answer Jim was expecting. It was 0830, a half an hour into the shift, and Spock was not there. It was very unusual and concerning the Vulcan was late.

"Chekov!"

Chekov blinked and turned at the Captains command, "Keptien?"

Jim got up from his chair and laid a gentle hand on Chekov's shoulder, "You have the bridge. I'm going to check on Spock."

"Aye, Keptien."

Jim was worried. Sure, it could have been his feelings talking; but, even if he didn't love Spock, he would have been completely worried as a Captain. Spock was never late; hell, he was always early!

The trip to Spock's quarters seemed to be taking twice as long - although it took the same amount of time as always. He pushed the doors chime and waited, but there was no answer. He frowned and pushed it again, and again there was no answer. Now he was completely worried.

As quickly as his trembling fingers could, he punched in the Captain's override code, and the door swished open.

Spock was lying on his back in bed; his chest was heaving up and down, and he was sweating - even though the temperature in the room was freezing. He looked thin and fragile, his eyes swollen into his head.

Jim rushed to the com; "Medical emergency. Spock's quarters!"

Spock groaned and Jim rushed over to him; "Spock?" Spock didn't respond; he just shivered. "Spock, come on buddy. Can you here me?"

Spock groaned and his eyes slowly opened. "Jim?" He croaked out.

Jim smiled and ran a hand through Spock's sweaty hair; "Hey there. Bones in on the way."

Spock shook his head; "No."

Jim frowned, "Spock, you need help. Your sick."

Spock shook his head again, "No. Pon Farr. Plak tow."

Jim blinked, "Pon Farr?" But Spock was already unconscious once again.

The doors swished open and Bones rushed; hands full of medical equipment. Jim moved out of the way and watched as Bones ran through a series of tests; "Elevated brain chemistry, high fever." He turned to Jim. "I don't know what this is, Jim."

"He said something about Pon Farr."

Bones frowned, "I've heard of it, but I don't know exactly what it is. Those damn hobgoblins are secretive."

"Would Uhura know?"

Bones shrugged as his answer.

Jim rushed to the com once again; "Captain to the bridge."

"_Bridge here, Keptien."_

"I need Uhura to come to Commander Spock's quarters, immediately."

He heard a faint curse and the turbo lift doors closing before Chekov responded, _"She iz on her vay."_

Jim went back to Spock's side; "Is there anything you can do for him, Bones?"

"I gave him a meld sedative so he could sleep, and something to bring down his brain activity." Bones scowled. "But damn it, Jim. I'm a doctor, not a Vulcan expert!"

"But you should know something!" Jim growled out.

"Is Spock alright?" Both men swung around to the sound of Uhura's voice; they didn't even here her come in. "What's wrong?"

Jim managed to speak up first; "Spock's sick, and we don't know what it is. He said something about Pon Farr?"

Uhura covered her mouth as she gasped; "It can't be! It's too early!"

"Do you know what it is then?" Bones spoke up.

Uhura nodded, "After Vulcan's become adults, every seven years they go into something called Pon Farr. It's when Vulcan's have the strong urge mate and bond. It is the only thing that they think about. But if they don't." She choked back a sob. "If they don't, they can die."

Jim eyes widened, "Your telling me, that if Spock doesn't mate, he will die!?"

Uhura nodded, trying unsuccessfully to hold back her tears. Jim growled and began to pace. His best friend - the one he loved - was laying _dying_ because of this Pon Farr. He stopped and looked at both Bones and Uhura.

"I'll do it."

Uhura blanched, "What?"

"Damnit, Jim! Are you crazy?"

Jim shook his head and ignored Bones to talk to Uhura, "How long does it last?"

"S-Spock said it varied from Vulcan to Vulcan. But it usually don't last more than seven days."

Jim nodded and turned to Bones, "I don't know what is going to happen, but I want to get ready for anything. I want you to put both of us under quarantine until I say."

"Jim, why the hell are you doing this?"

Jim growled, "Because I love him, damnit!"

Bones's jaw dropped as he stared at his friend. But Jim wasn't worried about that, he was more worried about what Uhura would think. He turned to Uhura, but was stopped when she pulled him into a hug.

"Take care of him, Kirk. He loves you too," She whispered into his ear.

Jim nodded and returned the hug for a moment, before pulling away; "Thank you."

Uhura nodded and walked over to Bones, grabbing his arm; "Come on, I'll help you." Bones nodded numbly and they both left. Jim sighed and went over to Spock's beside. He was still sweating, but his breathing seemed to have evened out. Must have been the sedative Bones had given him.

"Computer," he waited for the computer to beep in acknowledgement before he continued. "Lower temperature by ten degrees." The computer beeped again, and Jim shivered as the temperature was lowered.

"Captain?"

Jim smiled, "Hey there."

Spock frowned, and his fists held onto the bed sheets tight - as if resisting something. "You should not be here."

Jim scoffed, "Uhura told me what is going on."

Spock sat up and shifted so his whole body was facing Jim; "Which is why you should not be here."

Jim reached out to put a hand on Spock's cheek, but the Vulcan flinched and he pulled away. He sighed and put his hand on his lap; entangling his fingers together. "Whether you like it or not, I am staying. You said we where bonded, right? Well then that's a good reason. And," Jim took a deep breath and reached up to cup Spock's face. This time, he didn't pull away.

"And I love you, Spock."

Spock's eyes darkened and his grip on the sheets tightened; "Captain …"

Jim leaned in so they were only inches apart. Brown eyes meet blue; one filled with lust the other filled with both lust and love. "I love you, Spock. And by what Uhura is saying, you do too."

Before Jim could even think, the space between them was broken as Spock crushed their lips together. He saw stars as the kiss grew, and his mind flew as Spock found the pressure points in his face and their minds became one.


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

When Spock entered his quarters after shift, he was pleasantly surprised it was otherwise occupied. Although the lights were off, his Vulcan sight allowed him to see the figure sprawled out on his bed.

James Tiberius Kirk, or Jim, was sprawled out on his stomach, taking up much of the already small bed. Although he never complained, the higher temperature in Spock's quarters always bothered him, even in his sleep. So laying sprawled out allowed him to find some comfort.

This brought a rare smile to Spock's face. These months spend with his bond mate, his lover, ruined his emotional control. Not that he was complaining, much.

He quietly undressed. He didn't want to disturb his mate. Today's treaty meeting with the Klingons had gone quite well, even if it didn't seem like it. The Klingons were a proud race, but Jim had gotten one step forward in an alliance. But it was a tiring meeting, and he deserved his rest.

It had been months since the run in with the unknown aliens - Unknown Species 3728 according to Star Fleet Records. The only reminisce of the battle was the slight limp and the memories.

"Spock, are you just going to stand there?"

Spock's mouth twitched in an almost smile, "Of course not, T'hy'la." He silently glided across the room and slipped into bed behind Jim. Jim sighed and snuggled up to him, despite the heat he gave off. The skin-to-skin contact sent a shock through both of their bodies. Their bond surprised them both. Vulcans were a highly telepathic species, and they bonded mentally with their mate. When Spock discovered he and Jim shared the same connection, it was surprising and confusing (although the confusing part didn't bother Jim in the slightest). Spock believed healing Jim those months ago, triggered his Pon Farr early.

He barely remembered the day he entered Pon Farr. But when he woke up a few days later - safe from the Plak Tow - things had changed between him and Jim.

_What he first came to realize, as the slowly woke up, was he was no longer burning up; although, there was a soft warmth emanated on his front half. But he was content; something he had not felt in a long time. _

_The warmth that was in front of him shifted, and sighed deeply. His eye's shot open and he shot up. From what he saw - and felt - both of them were quite naked._

_Jim groaned and sat up sleepily; "S'goin on?"_

"_Cap-Jim. What?"_

"_Do you remember what happened?" Spock paused and thought. The last thing he remembered was Jim coming into his room and…his eyes widened. He had gone into Pon Farr._

"_Yeah you did. Uhura said it was early, though she didn't know why."_

_Spock raised an eyebrow, "I did not speak aloud."_

_Jim smiled tenderly and raised a hand, gently placing it on the side of Spock's face; 'I can here you.'_

_Spock jerked back, "We are bonded?"_

_Jim bit his lip and nodded. Seeing Spock freeze, he slipped out of the bed; wincing as he moved the wrong way. He found his pants thrown over the couch, but he could not find his shirt anywhere. He gave up with a sigh and slipped out of the room. Before he could take a step, however, the doors behind him swished opened and two strong arms pulled him back._

"_Wha-"_

_He was cut off as a pair of warm lips met his; demanding, possessing and desperation all rolling into one hard, clumsy kiss. He melted into Spock, his hands moving to the taller Vulcan's waist, drawing them closer together. _

_When the need for oxygen became too great, they reluctantly pulled apart. Jim tried to back up to ask what was going on, but Spock's embrace stopped him. "Spock?"_

"_I have regained my memories."_

_Jim frowned in confusion, "What?"_

_Spock's breath ghosted Jim's ear when he spoke; "T'hy'la." _

'_Soul-mate.'_

"_S-Spock?"_

_Spock leaned foreword until their lips were only inches away; "I wish to be with you, James Kirk."_

_Jim smiled happily; "It's Jim."_

_Spock's own lips quirked into a small smile, "I know."_

Jim sighed and rolled over so his nose was buried into Spock's chest, which jerked Spock out of his thoughts; "Stop thinking. 'm tryin' to sleep."

Spock put up his mental barriers and buried his nose in Jim's hair, "Apologies."

Jim hummed in content, "Love you, Spock."

"And I you, and I you."

* * *

**There it is. Completly done! I hope you enjoyed!**


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